From job searching to soul searching

I’ve spent my entire career trying to find a job that gives me a sense of purpose. A job that isn’t just that thing I do to earn a living but is part of who I am. A job that makes me light up when people ask me, “What do you do?” A job I’d want to write about in my blog.

Often, when I start a new job, I’m full of optimism. But the longer I spend at a company, the more my rose-colored glasses turn to grey.

When I was hired to work at a major newspaper, I felt like I had won the lottery. I’m a writer. These were my people. But I wasn’t hired to write; I was brought on to help us comply with financial regulations. While others were creating stories or printing or delivering the paper, the best thing my efforts could create was an audit report with the words, “No issues found.”

When I was hired by a software company, I felt like my work was much closely tied to the company’s purpose. I helped their clients streamline and automate complex and repetitive business processes. But serving big law firms–their primary clients–didn’t feel like a rewarding use of my abilities.

Based on these and other experiences, I’d reached the conclusion that in order for a job to be “meaningful” for me, it would need to meet the following two criteria:

1. The company mission had to be genuinely focused on helping people.
2. My job had to directly contribute to achieving that mission.

“If I could just find the right role at the right company,” I’d tell myself, “I would finally feel like I’m doing something that matters.”

Once again, as I’m writing this post, I’m working at a job that had the potential to fulfill me but has not lived up to my expectations.

Usually, when this happens, I try to find a job that’s a better fit. I search the job boards for good opportunities, spend hours tailoring my resume and cover letter to each position, and apply. Eventually, I land a new job, only to discover that it feels much different in practice than it looked in writing.

This time, I wanted to try something different.

After doing a lot of introspective work to figure out what I want in my next job, I decided to hire a career coach. She helped me figure out what kinds of roles I might find more fulfilling. Then we picked a role to explore: Product Management. As a Product Manager, I would be accountable for the creation and improvement of products. All I needed to do was find a company that created products I could stand behind and I’d meet my definition of “meaningful work.”

But instead of immediately searching for and applying to Product Manager jobs, my first step was to actually talk to other people who do this kind of work.

Initially, my coach connected me with three different people. Each one gave me a new perspective.

My first interviewee came from a highly technical background. He walked me through his day-to-day responsibilities and helped me recognize that I already had a lot of the experience I’d need to succeed in this type of role. My main concern arose when he explained that he spends about half his time talking to engineers. I had spent two decades working in IT, but I wanted to focus more on people and less on technology.

The next person I talked to came from a business background. During his many years of product management, he had studied concepts such as product design and social anthropology to help him gain a more human perspective on how products fit into people’s lives. He showed me that there are different styles of product management. I have a degree in anthropology and want to learn about product design, so his style felt like one I’d like to emulate.

Finally, I talked to someone with a degree in philosophy. He said he doesn’t care that much what his team is creating as long as it’s ethical. Instead, he focuses his energy on getting to know each of his team members and learning their motivations and fears. In this way he can help them feel less like disposable resources and more like what they do is important to the success of the team.

Through these conversations, a switch flipped in my head.

First, I realized that if I want to find a job that’s a good fit for me, I can’t rely solely on job descriptions. To get a deep understanding of what it’s like to perform these jobs, it’s important to talk to people who have done this type of work.

Second, I learned that even though a job may carry similar responsibilities from one company to another, each person can mold the job to suit their own style and be successful whether they have a background in technology, business, or philosophy.

Last, I realized that in order for my work to be fulfilling, I don’t need to have the perfect job at the perfect company and build a product that will save the world. I can find meaning in my work by simply being mindful of how I approach my job and my colleagues each day.

After these epiphanies, I’ve decided to take a step back from exploring product management and spend the next month focusing on my day-to-day approach to my work.

As inspired by my second product manager interview, I aim to learn about the principles of product design and see how viewing my work with an eye towards design enriches my work experience.

In addition, my third interviewee motivated me to explore how I can be a better leader for my team. Based on my research, I came up with some behaviors I can practice each day:

• Spend as much time asking questions and listening as I do sharing my perspective.
• Give positive feedback to and about my teammates.
• Take time to understand their needs and concerns and offer to help when appropriate.
• When things go wrong, focus on what I could have done better.

Through these efforts, I hope to gain more clarity on how I can find a sense of purpose in my work. I plan to share my results in my next post.